Brudirect.Com Poll result

Bandar Seri Begawan - Yes, whip the men well and proper. That seems to be the surprising verdict of the public in Brunei, presumably most of them women, on married men having an illicit affair.

That stands in sharp contrast to a question posed whether women should be caned for having an affair. The verdict even though said women should be thus punished it was not that overwhelming.

The poll on a popular website posing the two questions was separately conducted for over a month recently. It showed 76 per cent favoured whipping of unfaithful husbands and only 55 per cent whipping of women for having an affair. Many in the sultanate have found the outcome surprising.

But a social worker said she expected it because many women in Brunei are rather fed up with the general behaviour of local men. Anger against errant husbands has been rising.

A lawyer who specialises in Muslim divorce cases said, "Physical abuse and cases of neglect against wives are on the increase. Many wives have approached us to file cases but many withdraw their complaints after the initial feeling of hurt subsided."

It is the same story in the civil and criminal courts: when things cool down, the couples tend to kiss and make up. A university researcher said that many Brunei men tend to be irresponsible perhaps because they are spoilt from the time they are born.

In sibling hierarchy the boys are favoured over girls overwhelmingly and the boys grow up to think that they are superior.

This outlook and upbringing colour their character with all facts of life, and that consequently reflects even in academic achievement. Thus overwhelmingly girls score better marks and turn out to be far better students, said a school principal.

It is a worldwide trend that girls do better than boys in school, but in Brunei, it is much more apparent, he added. Brunei culture as generally in Asia teaches women to be submissive to men. But this day and age with education and universal suffrage men do not always have their way. Thus conflict develops.

Taking on additional wives which they cannot afford and neglecting to upkeep families are other sore points that bring about unhappiness resulting in violence, said a social worker.

"The result of the survey is an indication of the pent up feelings that women harbour against irresponsible men," she commented. The survey on www.Brudirect.com was conducted for a month from August 28 to September 18 and from September 18 to October 20.

It did not specify the gender of the voters. The questions posed were, "Should women be whipped in Brunei for having an affair?" and "Should married men be caned for having an illicit affair?"

-- Report by Brudirect.Com

Comments (6)

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written by antam , October 21, 2009

dear she who commented. FIY women also have affairs in Brunei. this study is a bit one sided and as a matter of fact a breach of journalistic standards. you see the 'writer' prefered to focus on men and had seem to forget the study was about both gender.

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Do Think About It!
written by Woman Also , October 21, 2009

Woww... Brunei WOMAN... Please do not blame on man!!! Woman also many cases like this... but woman still can hide their affair relationship.... OOpppssss..... But if woman found guilty in this case, they also can be whipped... Huhuhu... Think first Brunei Woman...

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IMO
written by LBD , October 21, 2009

I guess giving punishment to both gender would be more appropriate isn't it? Guys because they're suppose to set a good example to their wives (as well as other guys) and girls because well, they're not suppose to do that when they're already married (it applies both ways). But that's just my opinion and I'm sure there are people out there who would think otherwise for their own reasons

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written by Alisha , October 21, 2009

It's very true that the majority of Brunei men are totally spoilt, they think they can say and do whatever they want with no consequence. The law needs to be stricter to protect women, if a man is bored with the wife then get a divorce but make sure he gives money to her and the children, having second and third wives just causes so much pain to the woman and especially the children which in turn causes more problems when the children become adults! it's time men started being responsible and acting like adults not over grown kids!! As for whipping that's just barbaric there has to be better ways to deal with it.

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Really????
written by ********* , October 21, 2009

This is one of the many problems with the world society if you are going to set a stantard that standard needs to be all encompassing regardless of what the issue is. If women in this country want to have the men held up to a certain standard than they need to be willing to hold themselves to the same thing. This needs to work both ways dependin on the situation and who voices their opinion more.

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written by ********* , October 21, 2009

Please do not misunderstand if one group seems to have complete control and autonomy to what they want than they need to be prepared to allow everyone else the same right regardless of their gender or anything else. As the world evolves and society becomes more of a world idea as oppossed to isolatedd to each country everybody is going to need to comply with somethings they may not like, but also build a tolerance and accepting nature toward the culture that others may have.

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